Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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