How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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