He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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