you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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