How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
