Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
