today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
