i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
