Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
