How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am naked and annoyed.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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