You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
