sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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