found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Bring me that man meat
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
