this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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