Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
