i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.