real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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