You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
this will be a night to untag.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
