no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So many bounce houses so little time
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
