you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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