we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
