is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
