We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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