Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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