Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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