I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
