i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
