so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
