so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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