Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
