I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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