they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
