I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize