Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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