bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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