you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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