i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
