so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize