Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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