Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You made out with two different species that night
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
