I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
