my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
