My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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