wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize