I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes