I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again