Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize