Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
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After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....