If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
