carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
