is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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