drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I will be naked everywhere
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
