And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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