If i could tip my vagina, i would.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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