She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Panties = found
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
