His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
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Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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